Kai blows the bit...

Yesterday evening, I was walking north on Lincoln Ave. I was on my way to the Howard train station, to get to the theater for a Stinger show. It's summer in the city and a stretch of Lincoln is closed, right by the library for a folk music festival. There are stages set up on the ballfields and as I walked past the festival, I could hear the high, tinny sound of bluegrass music over the outdoor projection system. It was a good day to be out for a stroll to the train station.

As I walked north on Lincoln, nearing the Daily Grill, I saw a mother look around her and say, "Kai?" I slowed my walk up to the corner to see what was happening.

The mother let go of the stroller that she was pushing and her friend, who had her own kid-filled stroller grabbed the handles of the abandoned stroller and they both called out for Kai.

"Kai?"

"Kai?!?"

The mother looked back towards me and the crowd of people that were exiting the festival, frantically calling, "KAI? KAI! KAI?"

The other mother said, "Where is he?"

Kai's mother, nearing tears, said, "I don't know. I just lost him. He was RIGHT HERE! KAI!"

Kai's father jogged over to them, carrying another little boy. "What's going on. Where's Kai?"

Kai's mothers face was red and she was about to go tearing back through the crowd. "I Don't Know! He was just here. He left the fair with us and I can't find him!"

The other mother stood helplessly at the corner, holding both strollers, scanning any stopped cars to see if Kai had been hit. The father started to put the other little boy into the stroller to go running, looking for Kai. The mother was scanning the crowd. Everyone was yelling for Kai.

I stopped at the corner, waiting for the light to change, genuinely fearful for this family.

Kai's mother slipped around the corner of The Daily Grill and that's the moment that Kai chose for his big reveal. He jumped out from behind the corner and yelled, "Boo!" waved his hands as scarily as he could. His mother staggered a step back and grabbed his forearm and fought to fight the panic in her voice.

"KAI! Where were you?!? Don't you EVER, EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

Kai's dad ran up. "Where was he?"

The other mother said, "He was hiding around the corner here."

Kai's mother was crying and she looked at his dad and he took Kai from her and walked him ten feet away, admonishing him in quiet angry tones. Kai's mother went back to her stroller, wiping the tears from her face, while the other mother comforted her. The kids in the strollers watched the whole scene, concerned. Kai looked scared and upset and confused. He'd planned this hilarious bit to scare his mom and somehow it had all gone wrong and everyone seemed like they were mad at him and that absolutely wasn't the reaction that he thought he would've gotten. As his dad bent over him, angrily whispering to him, Kai looked at his mom, at me, at the other adults at the corner, confused and frustrated that people didn't get his joke.

The light changed and I crossed over the street, heading to the train station.

As I walked on, I was instantly connected to a memory from my own past. A time when I found myself in exactly the same position that Kai was in.

It had to be the summer of 1985. I was ten years old. My dad, stepmom, stepsister and I had gone to King's Islan, in Ohio for a day of amusement park fun. We took trips like that, all the time. A long day of very, early driving, followed by an even longer day of walking around the park and compromising over what rides that the kids were allowed to ride. I always wanted to ride the craziest thrill rides. My parents didn't want to ride anything too extreme. My step-sister wanted to ride any ride that I didn't want to ride. One of those days in the amusement park, where nobody got what they wanted.

I was always a fiercely independant child. I spent a lot of time playing by myself. I was always wandering off and having adventures alone. So, it was a natural extension of that, when I suggested that my dad and stepmom spent the day with my step-sister and that I would wander off and enjoy the park alone. Doing and seeing whatever I wanted to do and see.

Later, there was some contention between my dad and I about how the conversation went down. We both agreed that the discussion took place on the observation deck of the replica of the Eiffel Tower that served as King's Islands signature exhibit. As I remember it, I approached my dad and said, "Hey dad, how about if I go explore the park on my own and I'll meet up with you guys at the base of the Eiffel Tower in three hours, at 4pm. Can we do that?" From my dad's perspective, he remember me saying, "Hey dad," and nothing else past that. I remember him saying, "Okay, that's fine. See you at 4pm." He didn't remember any of that. So, that's how I found myself wandering over to the Eiffel Tower elevator, taking it down alone and heading off to explore the park by myself.

I planned to spend my entire three hours in the Hanna-Barbera Land. First stop was "The Smurfs Adventure", where guests rode boats down a river ride past audio-animatronic versions of the Smurfs, in their village. I thought that this sort of immersion into a cartoon world was magical. I think I rode it three different times. I rode the Merry Go Round. I watched a Marionette Show. I rode the kiddie roller coaster two or three times, enjoying it every time. I rode the Scooby Doo bumper cars, ramming my mini Mystery Machine into other mini Mystery Machines populated by father-son combinations.

I was on The Flintstones helicopter ride when my family found me. I saw them and waved at them and I could see the red-faced rage from both my stepmom and my dad. He pointed ominously at the ground at his feet in a gesture that clearly said, "COME HERE, RIGHT NOW!" I slumped in my helicopter ride, knowing I was in trouble for something, but not what, exactly. Parents could be such a-holes, sometimes. When the ride ended, I seriously considered staying in the helicopter one more time, dreading meeting up with my dad. I got off the ride and my dad had made his way through the exit lines of the ride, grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to a bench for a proper ass-chewing.

I remember the heat of that summer day. I remember the shame of all the people passing by, looking at us, while I got chewed out. I remember that we were there by the "Emergency Services" trailer. I didn't know that an Emergency Services trailer even existed before then. I remember my stepsister smiling, because I was getting my ass chewed. I don't remember anything my dad said, but I remember how angry he was and how red his face was.

I think I tried to plead my case, "But you said..." and "I thought we agreed..." and he would shut down everything I said. I remember thinking that it was supremely unfair for me to get chastised for acting on the deal that we'd agreed upon. I think I cried at the frustration and the injustice of it all.

The plan changed and my dad marched me out to the car, where he and I were going to wait for the rest of the afternoon while my stepmother and stepsister explored the rest of the park alone, together. My dad said that it wasn't fair for them to have wasted so much of their day, looking for me. So, they still got to enjoy the park, while he and I waited for them in the car. I remember how hot the vinyl seat was, as I argued my case over and over with my dad. He wasn't hearing any of it.

Several hours later, my stepmother and stepsister joined us and we all suffered a silent, angry, car ride home. The day was absolutely ruined for everyone.

In my case, it was a misunderstanding. I thought we had a plan and I was following it. And for whatever reason, my dad didn't hear the plan, or forgot about it or something. I suspect he didn't hear me as he never would've agreed to set his ten year old son loose in a park by himself. So, the two hours after I left them, my dad had been as frantically worried as Kai's mom and dad were. They scoured the park, looking for me. Nearly in a panic. In their minds, I was kidnapped or in imminent danger of being kidnapped. And it was a race against time to find me, before the pedophiles of the world did. And so the anger that my dad felt, when he found me was intensified by the fear and panic that he'd felt, while looking for me. A feeling that I couldn't imagine 23 years ago. But the same feelings that I witnessed in Kai's parents, yesterday.

And standing at the street corner, waiting to cross, I could empathize with the panic that Kai's parents felt. And when Kai played his joke and it all backfired on him and he got unfairly chastised, I could also empathize with him too. Over the span of my lifetime, I am now an adult, but I've been a child and I can see both sides of the equation now.

On the train, I gave up my seat to a dad, pushing an empty stroller. He thanked me and I plugged in my ipod for the train ride to Belmont. The young dad motioned for someone to come sit with him and it turned out to be Kai and his brother. I watched as they stood on the seat, pointing things out to their dad, that he looked at with love and interest. I was happy to see that the botched bit didn't ruin the day for them. On the train ride home for them, Kai's bit was forgotten by everyone involved and they were reunited again as a family. Perhaps the lessened severity of Kai's bit helped everyone put it aside. If they'd spent two hours looking for him, perhaps they would all be exhausted and crazed with panic, too. I prefer to think that everyone realized that it was an honest mistake, Kai wanted to scare his mom and that's what little boys do, how could he know that he'd clued into every parents private nightmare?

I like to think that 23 years from now, Kai won't remember that day or how badly he scared his mom and dad. He won't cranio-jack into his Apple Iputer and cogni-blog about his experiences at the festival, yesterday.

If you can, go call your dad now. I'm going to go call mine.

Cheers,
Mr.B